You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
