Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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