some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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