Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
