Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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