haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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