If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ttyl tear gas
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
