Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
