we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
