Cold hands, warm shart.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
