i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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