he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
