It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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