I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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