That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
