I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
