Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
