is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
