that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
