i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
