Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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