all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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