I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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