break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
