Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize