Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
