You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
