Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
