Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
