my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
