I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
