come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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