Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
