why didn't you poke me back
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
