Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
