bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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