come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
