dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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