i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
