is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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