I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize