That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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