My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
