he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
