We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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