Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
