Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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