It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
