my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize