i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize