she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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