speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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