Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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