She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
