hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Actions speak louder than pants.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
