So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
