Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?

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(513): View more from Ohio

How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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(416): View more from Toronto

The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?

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