dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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