Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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