I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
