so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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