I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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