dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
