She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize