We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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