Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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