used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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