Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
