Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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