sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
