Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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