I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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