I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
