i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
