Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and she was petting her beer can
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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